"You must be Super Mom!"
One of many well meant, but intensely irritating comments I hear often as the proud mama of three children under the age of four.
Courtesy of the barrage of images of what motherhood "should" look like in modern American media, here is the definition of "Super Mom" I've come up with:
Super Mom as she is commonly viewed is always calm and patient. It's easy to be since her children are so well-behaved and she's so well rested since they sleep peacefully 15 hours a night. She sleep trained them effortlessly at 2 weeks old, after all. This also allows her ample time for Pinterest projects. She's always on time and shows up with everything she should have. Her children are clean and stylishly dressed. They eat only the best homemade organic foods grown in her home garden or purchased directly from local farmers. She throws elaborate birthday parties and hosts the best play dates in her immaculately clean, perfectly decorated home. Etc., etc., etc., (Insert other impossible traits here.)
Want to know a secret? She isn't real. Sure, some moms have mastered the art of appearing to have it all together, some even get close, but they don't have it ALL together. None of us do. NONE. This version of Super Mom is a mythical creature crafted by the beasts of comparison and ever-wavering mama self confidence that feeds off of the unattainable standards set by the aforementioned media sources. She makes us doubt ourselves and sucks the joy out of our motherhood. This "Super Mom", she's a real bitch.
I'm a far cry from being that Super Mom. I'm frazzled, exhausted, and chronically late. If it's not on my phone calendar with two reminders set, it's forgotten. We may not have bathed and are lucky if we are fully dressed. My house is likely a bio-hazard. My children eat non-organic, probably GMO snacks (Super mom audibly gasps!). I'm a hot mess.
But, I'm doing my best. I'm far from perfect, but I give it my all. My entire heart and soul is put into it. I am working my tail off to provide a stable, safe, healthy space for the little people that I am trying to mold into productive, caring, compassionate adults.
A change of mindset will not be easy. There will be tough days. However, I have decided that I will make a conscious effort to stop comparing myself and my reality to other moms. There will always be someone who is or does or has better. ALWAYS. I will take the time to take care of me so I am able to take care of those precious little people. I will be honest about my imperfections, but I will stop feeling like a failure for not being able to live up to an impossible standard. I will celebrate my successes, big and small.
I possess a fierce and completely unconditional love for my children and, more importantly, they know it. They KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, regardless of the laundry strewn about the house and the cereal we may have for dinner, regardless of the crazy mess that our life is sometimes, they know that they are loved. And that, my friends, is pretty super.
As you find yourself comparing and critiquing, I hope you remember how pretty super awesome you are too.
RELATED ARTICLES:Simple Reminders To Love Yourself Each Day Why Giving Experiences Makes Us Happy by Crystal 5 Simple Ways Busy People Can Live Healthier Lives Reset Retreat launching at Portofino Resort "How resetting my patterns helped redefine my dream" by Cierra "You are worth loving" by Natalie
