When you were growing up, did you know those girls who seemed to have it all figured out? The girls who seemed to always choose healthy relationships, the ones who didn’t seem afraid of anything and seemed to genuinely feel comfortable in their own skin...
Well, I was not that girl. Heck, I wasn't that woman for a very long time.
Don't get me wrong, I chased happiness like it was my job. But no matter how hard I worked, the relationship of my dreams, fulfilling work and, most importantly, a sense of comfort in my own skin, continued to elude me.
Why?
Because I didn't have my roots done.
No, I'm not talking about visiting the salon to maintain my “sun kissed” locks. I'm talking about nurturing the unique, beautiful roots that were an essential part of who I am; the roots that could offer a lasting and sustaining sense of happiness, peace and comfort. I didn’t worry myself with these intangible, internal things. Nope. I was sure that happiness was out there somewhere and I was hellbent to find it.
Sound familiar?
Women feel so much pressure to work tirelessly for the perfect body, hair, house, relationship and other outward signs of success. So much energy goes into these pursuits but something still feels “off”. We wonder why happiness and a sense of contentment remains out of reach. I certainly know I’ve been guilty of looking for the secret to happiness at the mall and I have expected relationships to make me happy.
Through personal experience and my role as a therapist, it has become so clear to me that we cannot truly enjoy the fruits of life–career, relationships, family– when our roots are unhealthy. We all want to experience life with a sense of love, purpose and fulfillment. But, just like a tree, we simply cannot thrive without a healthy root system.
It can sometimes seem easier to focus on external factors and ignore what is going on inside our hearts and minds . But no handbag, lip gloss or diet is going to bring you what you desire if your roots are unhealthy. In fact, even that “dream” relationship or job won’t bring you lasting joy if you don’t look after your roots.
Sustained happiness comes to us when we learn to accept ourselves just they way we are. We experience lasting joy when we embrace our unique gifts and understand that we have something special to offer this world. A feeling of peace enters us when we take care of ourselves mentally, physically and spiritually.
So, as we face a new year, I encourage all of us to take a good, hard look at our roots. The roots that may not show up in the mirror, but rear their head in the most important facets of our lives. It’s time to unravel those nasty, gnarly roots that say we aren’t good enough and keep us from pursuing our dreams. It’s time to heal the damaged roots that prevent us from loving wholeheartedly, committing to our health and embracing countless other joys this life has to offer.
Girl, it is time to get your roots done. Your happiness depends on it.
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