I recently got burned. I was duped. I felt cheated and let down by someone I trusted. The worst part was that my anger started having a life of it’s own. It was growing larger than life.
I genuinely try to be a good person and care for others and their emotional wellness. So when I feel like I’m wronged, it hurts to the core.
And I can’t let it go.
It eats away at me and the feeling of anger and hurt sometimes consumes me. Eventually, as time passes it subsides, but I let negativity flow over me for too long.
I recently realized this about myself and it doesn’t serve me or anyone around me. It was time for a change.
First things first, there are always two sides to every story. Perceptions differ and right or wrong, opinions are real. Just because I feel as though someone has wronged me, I have to realize they may disagree. I don’t know the reason why or the backstory, but there most certainly is one. One of my favorite quotes is “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” I’m not giving people a pass for “burning” others, but it lightens the load to know it’s possible they have been wronged so many times themselves, they actually can’t distinguish right from wrong.
Secondly, even if they do know what they’ve done, or even purposefully did something, me staying angry doesn’t serve anyone. I can bet all those hours I spent sitting in the muck of anger was not reciprocated: The people who let me down probably moved on a long time ago. It wasn’t worth their time and it shouldn’t be worth mine.
So here I was the other day getting burned and feeling real shock and hurt. I was secretly wanting karma to come rear its nasty head and strike. In this moment, for the first time, I recognized this terrible pattern I have: In situations like this, I can’t let go.
I can’t control how other people act, but I can control how I react and how it affects my life.
So I let go.
- I expressed what I needed to say to the person. I knew this was a relationship I was no longer going to put energy towards, but I also needed to clear the space. I’ve heard a lot of differing opinions about this when ending a relationship, but for me, I find it important to be straightforward.
- I sat alone and gave myself a set time (of 5 min. in this case) to cry. I really felt the anger and the hurt. I did some ugly crying, clenched my fists and cursed a few times. It wasn’t pretty.
- I said why I felt those things out loud. “I am so angry because I trusted her and she walked all over me.” Saying these out loud validated my feelings.
- I took 5 extremely deep breaths and promised on the 5th breath, that would be it. With each breath, I pictured the negativity drifting away. Floating far away from me where I couldn’t reach it even if I wanted.
- With those final breaths, my entire body relaxed and I literally let it go.
I didn’t let go of what happened – I will learn from my mistakes – but I made a promise that I was done with allowing negative energy to consume me. And I am.
This will be a process for me. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want karma to still come, but when I feel that anger bubble up, I remember the promise I made myself and move on to another thought. People will always let us down, wrong us, or hide their true colors… But by learning to let go, we can move on, learn from mistakes and send positivity back out there in the world.
Here’s to us all letting go and welcoming positivity.